From While You Do Your Business
Pages 14-19
THE CHICAGO LIBRARY RULES
The Chicago Public Library - Guidelines Governing the Use of the Library
Please Do Not:
- Engage in any illegal activity or behavior
- Vandalize library facilities, equipment or materials
- Bring in animals except guide dogs
- Harass other library users or library staff (physical, sexual or verbal abuse)
- Eat, drink, smoke or sleep
- Bathe, shave or wash clothes
- Remove library materials from the building without charging them out
PERSONS WHO FAIL TO OBSERVE THESE GUIDELINES MAY BE ASKED TO LEAVE THE BUILDING OR BE SUBJECT TO ARREST.
Can you believe these rules? What a way to stop crime? I am sure any potential violator will think twice before attempting to commit one of those infractions. They have the strong arm of the Chicago Library Authority to stop them.
Each rule deserves individual comment, so let’s start from the beginning. First, I am glad the Chicago Public Library used the words “Please do not.” The politeness of the library is appreciated. People do not always say “Please” when they should. I am sure that politeness will go a long way in the “Windy City”. Potential violators may stop their behavior in their tracts if they are politely asked not to. I think that our U.S. Criminal Justice system could learn a lesson from the Chicago Public Library!
The first rule covers everything wrong and illegal. It reads “Please do not engage in any illegal activity or behavior.” This covers it all. I am sure that criminals would appreciate this commandment. It would also prevent anyone from going before a judge and saying, “Your honor, I just didn’t know it was wrong to shoot the librarian.” Instead, the criminals are told up front with the rule clearly posted on the wall. Anything that is illegal is prohibited in the library. They must conduct their illegal activity outside.
In case one would not understand or recognize that vandalism is an illegal activity, the Library clearly mentions this in the second rule. It states: “Please do not vandalize library facilities, equipment or materials.” In other words, do not destroy any of their property. This would include the library itself, any computers or other equipment or any of the books.
I am sure that it is necessary to let people know about the anti-vandalism bias of the Library. These days, some people just take these things for granted. In fact, I was thinking about busting one of the computers myself during my visit, until I saw the rule. I immediately collected myself and remembered that they said “Please.”
The third rule actually made sense to me, it stated, “Please do not bring in animals except guide dogs.” I know that some people just think they can bring their dogs anywhere. I am sure that the libraries would be full of barking dogs and meowing cats if it wasn’t for this rule. I was also wondering how a blind person could read this rule. Perhaps, they should post it in Braille.
The next rule asks us not to “harass other library users or library staff (physical, sexual or verbal abuse.)” In case one does not know what type of harassment they are talking about, the library specifically identifies it for you. You can’t get physical, you can’t get sexual and you can’t get verbal in the library. If you do, you are harassing the staff or other library users. I’m glad they identified whom you cannot harass. I guess if you are not on the staff or a library user, you are fair game. I just stopped by to use the bathroom and get a drink of water, so I’m not sure how I would be identified. Am I a library user? I’m not using the book part of the library, but I am using the facilities. I would have to ask on that one.
However, sexual harassment is clearly identified. If one begins to sexually harass the librarian, then she can point to rule number four. “Didn’t you read the rules, you can’t put your hand up my dress!”
“Please do not eat, drink, smoke or sleep.” This rule is not fair! I think there is nothing wrong with sleeping in a library, unless you are snoring. Taking a nap between books does not hurt anyone. I think the constitution should give us the right to sleep in libraries. In fact, just reading the constitution would put most people to sleep. If one brings in a pillow, blanket, changes to their pajamas and sleeps for eight hours, I would understand why that would be wrong. However, sleeping in general should not be prohibited. (I think I will write the library and complain!)
How about eating and drinking? That does not make sense at all to me. How would one define eating? Are they talking about candy or a full course meal? I would understand bringing in a pizza or something, but “eating” is really a broad term. Drinking? If you can’t drink, then why is there a water fountain in the library? Would you explain that to me? I think the library needs to clarify this rule like they did with the “Seeing Eye dog”.
This brings us to the next rule: “Please do not bathe, shave or wash clothes.” Remember this because if you want to take a bath in the library’s sink, you can’t! (After all, I didn’t see any showers in the restroom.) I don’t know about you, but it has always been one of my fantasies to take a bath in a library. And, if you want to do your laundry there, think again, you will have to visit your local Laundromat.
The last rule, “Please do not remove library materials from the building without charging them out,” I think this should go without saying. Isn’t this what a library is all about anyway? But, in case one has not ever heard of the library system of checking out books, it is there in the list of rules.
The guidelines end with the statement that if people do not obey the rules they “may be asked to leave the building or be subject to arrest.” It is either or. Either you leave or you are arrested. I guess that if you engage in any criminal activity and then leave, then you are OK. You will only be arrested if you refuse to leave. So, criminals or rule breakers, keep this in mind. If you shoot the librarian or vandalize their property, and then leave, you will not be subject to arrest. You will only be arrested if you stay in the library.
Criminals in Chicago, beware of the Public Library. They will not take any crap from anyone! They have their own Library Rules!
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From While You Do Your Business
Pages 57-59
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MALT AND A SHAKE
One Cherry or Two?
How much does an employee need to know? How extensive should a new employee’s orientation be? How much cross training is necessary in the work place?
Decisions relating to training are very important to management. Although training is expensive, it is an investment in the organization. Employees have a basic human need to understand the “why” aspects of their jobs. Supervisors who do not take the time to teach their employees why things are the way they are, run the risk of having robotic employees who do not think for themselves.
The following true story illustrates the importance of training and teaching the employees the reason why.
The Difference between a Malt and a Shake
It all happened one Sunday after church services when I went to Steak ‘N Shake with friends for lunch in Springfield. We were greeted by a beautiful waitress who took our order. After a few minutes it was obvious that our waitress was a new employee for the restaurant. When it was my turn to order, I selected my usual steak burger with a chocolate malt. However, this time by mistake I ordered a chocolate “shake” instead of a “malt.”
I always liked the malt flavor and these days it’s hard to find a restaurant that offers both shakes and malts.
After the waitress had completed taking the orders for our table, I remembered that I had said “shake” instead of “malt.” I asked the waitress to change my order.
She responded, “Oh, that’s ok, the only difference between a malt and a shake is that the malt has two cherries and the shake has one.” I was dumbfounded. Everyone at our table looked at each other in amazement. I went on to disagree with the waitress. I explained that there was a major difference. Malts, I said, have a malted powder that changes the taste.
She continued to disagree and said that the lady behind the counter who makes the ice cream items told her that the malts had two cherries and the shakes had one. The waitress felt so strongly about her point that I had to get the manager to prove that she was wrong. Her final response was, “I always thought that was kind of silly.”
The point of this story is that it is important for management to explain “why” things are done the way they are done. I do not blame the waitress for not knowing the difference between a shake and a malt. The supervisor only told her what she “needed to know.” She was told that in order to distinguish between the two, one cherry was placed in the shakes while two cherries were placed in the malts. Although this was important, the reason “why” was not explained to the waitress.
In management it is important to explain “why.” If we fail to do this, we will have employees who do not know the difference between a malt and a shake.
Well, that’s the serious part of this book; let’s get back to the funny stuff.
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From While You Do Your Business
Pages 79-81
THE JERRY FALWELL STORY
“Mistaken for an Assassin”
Well, do I seem like the kind of person who would be mistaken for an assassin? When I was in college, I almost got killed in the “line of fire.”
It all started at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois. I was active in politics. I was even the president of the SIU College Republicans. Jerry Falwell, the TV minister from the Old Time Gospel Hour, was at that time president of a political organization called, “The Moral Majority.” He was very well known and very controversial. He was scheduled to be on campus and speak at a dinner. A local business group sponsored the event.
One of the sponsors was a friend of mine and gave me a ticket. I had plans to attend the 7 P.M. event. However, that afternoon I was in the student center study lounge on the second floor reading. Jerry Falwell had arrived on campus early and was on the same floor doing various interviews with the press. Outside the student center were hundreds of liberal, left wing groups demonstrating against Falwell and his organization. In fact, I learned later that there were even threats against his life.
Around 5 P.M. I left the study lounge to go to my apartment to change clothes for the event that evening. While I was leaving, I walked down the hall, and to my surprise, Jerry Falwell was coming right at me. He was surrounded by a group of bodyguards followed by several others. I thought that this was my opportunity to promote our SIU College Republican Club. We had these buttons, like the old time political campaign buttons, that said “SIU College Republicans.”
So, as Mr. Falwell was approaching, I reached into my jacket pocket to pull out a button to give him. Yes, you guessed it. His bodyguard thought that I was pulling out a gun from my pocket. One of the guards, about 6 feet tall and over 200 pounds, knocked me down, pulled out his gun, and Jerry Falwell was rushed to the next room. I was pushed and I slid on the floor a good six feet. A gun was in my face. My face turned three shades of red. I said, “All I wanted to do was give him this button!”
Well, the story isn’t over yet. That evening shortly after I arrived to the dinner, I heard my name over the speaker system. “Would Gordon Wayman please report to the information desk in the lobby?” I thought, “What in God’s name have I done now. It was only a button!” Apparently, the friend that gave me the ticket to the dinner was one of the people walking behind Jerry when the incident in the student center had occurred. He had told Jerry who I was. I was brought back stage. Mr. Falwell wanted to meet me and apologize for the actions of his security guards.
Mr. Falwell was really nice about the whole thing. He even gave me a nice gift, a “Jesus First” gold lapel pen, which I have to this day. We chatted for a couple of minutes, and I gave him my SIU College Republican button, which I am sure he does not have to this day.
After the dinner and speech, Mr. Falwell worked the crowd and shook hands with people by table. I was sitting with a group of friends, however, I had not had time to tell them about the incident. When Falwell came to our table, he patted me on the back and said, “Gordon, my Republican friend!” My friends looked at me with big eyes and said, “Do you know Jerry Falwell?” I said, “Oh, we go way back!”
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From While You Do Your Business
Pages 178-180
A Special Invitation
“Women Like Me”
Don’t you just love all the junk mail we get? If it weren’t for junk mail, my mailbox would be empty on most days. One day I received a unique letter addressed to “Gordon Wayman”from a woman’s magazine with a special invitation to subscribe to the magazine. I had never heard of the magazine, but when I read the letter, I learned that the magazine was a Christian Magazine for women. The letter was not addressed to “Mrs. Gordon Wayman,” but to “Gordon.” (I wasn’t married at the time, anyway.) For some reason, the magazine had me down as a woman.
This was the first time that I had been mistaken for a woman, so I thought I would have some fun by writing a letter. I wrote to the Publisher of the magazine the following:
Dear Madam:
Thank you for your letter inviting me to take advantage of your generous special introductory offer to your fine magazine, “The Christian Magazine for Women. ”However, I regret to inform you that I am not the kind of Christian woman you referred to in your letter.
I have no desire to be “the kind of wife, mother, and woman” you refer to.
In addition, I have no desire “to be recognized as a woman who has self-worth, talents, and ideas to contribute to our world.”
You see, I am not the type of woman who would subscribe to your fine magazine. I’m sorry that you started publishing your magazine for “women like me.”
I have to decline your fine offer, because, you see, I am a man.
Sincerely,
Gordon Wayman
Unfortunately, the editor did not respond to my letter. However, I never received anything else from that magazine.
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